Losing me.

It’s sad to think I’m losing the things I once loved about myself.

I no longer want to be silly and cheeky; for fear of being ridiculed.

I no longer wish to speak my mind; people may listen, but they hear what they want.

I no longer wish to give as freely; the disappointment in how people take and kept taking, hurts too much.

I’m now not trying to fix some of my relationships, instead I’ve given up. I’m too tired to try with people, who lack the ability to see a perspective other than their own. I’m done trying to impress my parents and force a relationship with them. I’m done trying to impress people, full stop.

I’m saving my fun side, for myself and closest friends. I don’t want to give anyone else a chance to hurt me again. There’s only so many times I can accept being called the fool and having the suffocating pressure of abandonment press down  on my chest.

I just want to be happy. Please universe, Mum, Granddad, anyone listening; help me find happiness and serenity.